The Mad Poet of the Year blog posts share the poetry of a long-time Mad Poet. This year-long appointment provides readers with a deep dive of the writer’s work and thoughts on poetry. We are thrilled to have Bill Van Buskirk serve as the Mad Poet of the Year for 2025.
HIGH COMEDY
Convivo ergo sum. I party, therefore I am.
James Hillman
Once again last Saturday
we laughed so hard that tears
streamed down our faces. We wept
in the quaking carnival of all we were
‘til even our bones were funny—
skeletons tingling to the same jingles.
Too much wine was certainly part of it.
Now we look back in wonder,
try to remember labels on the bottles.
We long for that trance to be our sun and moon,
to wear bright red pajamas and strut high on the boulevard.
I search for a sober word to hold all this
but it can’t say how our hearts spilled out
onto the sidewalk, set up shop for an evening,
rattled their tin cups at random passersby,
or how we reveled until three AM
in a world too vast for old ways of being new,
or how our dreams paraded by
in gaudy masquerade: new ways
of being old—wrinkled, antic—
we don’t explain. We greet
whoever shows up in our days, especially
the young suicides. The work is urgent—
this search for
songs,
jokes,
slivers of shtick
strong enough to sweep them up in our gaiety…
Join us! Join us! We say.
We know a better way to die.
Background: The poem was inspired by a professional conference I attended every year for about 30 years. I was a university professor and the conference, in addition to being a place to share ideas, was a powerful community of joy. It attracted colleagues from around the globe. Many participants came back year after year. The main event was the annual talent show, held at the end of the conference, where members were encouraged to display a “talent” that (for many reasons) they kept under wraps in their academic lives.
We were often surprised by how good some of these performances were. We discovered that a psychologist friend had trained in her youth in opera; and an economist revealed a hidden talent on the saxophone. There were also comedians, singer-songwriters, poets, actors, story-tellers, Zumba teachers and tap-dancers. There were many others whose main talent was being goofy in front of 200 colleagues. All were welcomed. All were cheered. Much wine was consumed. Onto the poem!
Title: High Comedy: The dictionary defines high comedy as a kind of dramatic form characterized by exalted language and/or high aspirations. Year after year, the outrageous performances of the talent show sparked an electricity rarely felt in our academic lives. Year after year, we were transformed as individuals and as a community (One member left her day job to go to Broadway where she directed two hit plays.) Cogito ergo sum became Convivo ergo sum. The challenge of this poem was to capture a bit of that energy.
Once again last Saturday/ we laughed so hard that tears/ streamed down our faces: I wanted to start off with a few lines that would pull the reader into the spirit of the evening. Most readers have had the experience of laughing so hard they cried; but my guess is, for most of us, these joyful tears are rare. I hoped that the poem’s audiences would connect to the talent show’s glee; and that this connection would pull them in to the poem.
We wept/ in the quaking carnival of all we were/’til even our bones were funny: Part of this experience for me was that my whole body often shook with laughter. It was a kind of delightful earthquake, body-quake, a quaking carnival that shook us to the bone.
til even our bones were funny: I like the play on funnybones. Only now, all our funnybones were laughing and cheering, together and all at once, with our whole skeletons. We were tingling to the same jingles. We were no longer trying to show how smart we were, but how much we could discard our careful academic selves in the evening’s joyful foolishness.
Too much wine/ was certainly part of it: I could remember trying to explain, to a skeptical colleague, what the evening was like. He said, “Well it sounds like it was just a drunken party. I used to have those in my college days. We all did. Nothing special about that.” And so, the event was easy to trivialize from the outside. Wine was a part of it. But I knew what a drunken party felt like; and there was something more in those gatherings that I wanted to convey, or at least hint at. Something about those evenings transported us beyond ourselves, took us someplace special. It was high comedy rather than low. We were drunk not just on a few glasses of wine, but on the mystery of who we were to one another.
What was this intoxicant? What was this energy that burgeoned up in us? We try to remember labels on the bottles. We fail. So, we settle for metaphor. Wine would have to stand for something else, something higher, subtler and impossible to label—the evening’s trove of micro-kindnesses.
We long for that trance to be our sun and moon: We longed for that energy to claim us, to take us over like a trance does; but we knew that it would fade. Yet, we marvel in its memory. What would it be like if we could partake of that elixir in the midst of our day jobs? It would be like living on a different planet, with a different sun and moon to orient us. We would be outrageous—wear bright red pajamas/and strut high on the boulevard.
So the evening is magical, and like most magic, it is inaccessible. We search for a word to hold all this, but it can’t say…There is no single word that would allow us to hold onto this experience. Perhaps all we could do is make images. Many people took photographs. I wrote this poem.
How our hearts spilled out onto the sidewalk. Perhaps the essence of the evening’s joy lay in going public with shy talents, hidden foolishness, deepest longings, secret fears. There was a recklessness in it, in us. Nothing could stop it. And so, we became what we could not say. We
set up shop for an evening, / rattled our tin cups at random passers-by. We reveled until three AM/ in a world too vast for old ways of being new/. This new gaiety reigned in our new world, a world where we could be, if only for an evening, different people—more energized, more talented, more dynamic. On many nights, we actually did stay up until 3 AM! Not bad for a bunch of fifty-year-olds.
or how our dreams paraded by/ in gaudy masquerade: /new ways of being old—wrinkled, antic— Many of us were in our forties and fifties in those days. We were just beginning to feel the burden of aging. But nights like this one held a promise—that we could be wrinkled and wild at the same time—that aging and death might be inevitabilities, but on this evening, at least, they would not be preoccupations.
We don’t explain, we greet/ whoever shows up in our days. In the warmth of the talent show, the conference itself became more than itself. It was no longer a gathering of academics, but a gathering of fools, willing to try anything twice. This poem tries to follow its dance steps. It does not explain. It greets. It is uncanny. Like my fellow revelers, the poem doesn’t try to explain. It doesn’t want to. It is enough to greet the world with its energy. And it is at this point that the poem turns and reveals its true, serious center.
especially the young suicides: At this turning, many readers react—“who are these suicides, anyway, and where did they come from, and what are they doing in the poem?” There is a certain danger here. The poem might lose its readers (indeed a number of readers have said that they think this phrase cancels out all that has gone before). I thought about softening it, but decided to go with this version. The poem’s excess—so wild, crazy and drunken—held for me a kind of existential gravity, a heroism, a joy. It was this that made its comedy “high.”
The work is urgent—/this search for //songs, //jokes, //slivers of shtick // So there was an urgency to our performances. In the background was an awareness of how much suffering there is in the world, a suffering caused, at least in part, by a vast deficit of joy. We are under no illusions that we are up to the task of transforming the world; but we would seek and share that joy wherever we could—even in the “lower” forms of art (songs, jokes, slivers of shtick). Maybe we might realize a power strong enough to sweep them up in our gaiety…// In the end, the poem is a hymn to the joy we felt. Perhaps it can move others, even those we cannot see, to join us in its heightened glee. Join us! Join us! We say. /We know a better way to die.
Bill Van Buskirk’s poems have appeared in The Comstock Review, The Paterson Literary Review, The Mad Poets’ Review and many others. His chapbook, Everything that’s Fragile is Important, received honorable mention in the Jesse Bryce Niles Chapbook contest sponsored by the Comstock Review (2007). His book, This Wild Joy that Thrills Outside the Law, won the Joie de vivre contest sponsored by the Mad Poets’ Review. (2010). His latest book is The Poet’s Pocket Guide to Steady Employment (2023).