The Mad Poet of the Year blog posts share the poetry of a long-time Mad Poet. This year-long appointment provides readers with a deep dive of the writer’s work and thoughts on poetry. We are thrilled to have Tonita Austin (aka Toni Love) serve as the Mad Poet of the Year for 2023.
I Remember You (For Mommy)
by Tonita Austin aka Toni Love
With every embrace
I remember you
In every poem I write
I honor you
Each boo-boo I kiss
Every time I drop everything to respond to a call from the school
I invoke glimpses of your face
I remember you
Prayers tucked into wrinkles of your hands
Wisdom in the tight grey coils that framed a crown of compassion on your forehead
Baby oil in the bathtub and Vaseline on your feet
Callouses from walking your journey with no shoes
Allowing the earth as a cushion beneath
Fourteen years, 5,110 days, 112640 hours and 7,358,400 minutes
The time lapse does not stop tears and memories from flooding my heart
I remember you
Homemade cigarettes in the basement
We watched not knowing you found comfort exhaling
You inhaled concoctions of joy, sadness, loss and grief
The exhale both liberating and toxic
I speak of you to your grandchildren
Chance meetings as souls passed in transition
They remember you though never met you here on earth
I hear you in the deep vibrato of Nina Simone and Lou Rawls
I smell you in the cinnamon nutmeg infused sweet potato pie I can’t quite get to taste the same way
I see you in the eyes of my son you ushered onto this plane
The time he came through me was your birth date
My children speak of past lives with you
I cry for you
I laugh with you
I speak to you
I still need you
I wait
To hear you
I call and you still answer
I remember you
And thank you
For remembering me too
I chose this poem because I wrote this in remembrance of my Mother Ethel. October 1st is her birthday and although we lost her so very early in her life, at the age of 58, once I moved past the grief I could see how present she was in my life still in so many ways.
Tonita Austin also known as “Toni Love” is a gifted poet, singer, activist, and writer born in West Philadelphia. While attending Columbia University, Tonita was a student of Amiri Baraka and performed in Ntozake Shange’s “For Colored Girls” as the Lady in Orange. Her writing is influenced by both experiences. She is a contributor to the anthology The Black Body and featured poet in the 2018 and 2020 Winter/Fall edition of the Philadelphia Arts and Urban Literary magazine. The Restoration EP is her first published recording; Toni’s Room is her first published book. Toni currently resides in Media, PA. For more info, visit www.tonitalove.com and https://tonilove.hearnow.com/.